Monday, May 22, 2006

rough day for Mommy

Normally when I call the nurse says Meghan is "perfect".  Today I called and they said she was "OK."  She hasn't been taking her feedings via bottle, and she had a short heartrate drop, which is normal for her age but she hasn't had one in days.  They also found out she is anemic, so they are giving her something to help her absorb more iron.  The good news about that is that maybe her sleepiness is caused by the anemia, and maybe the meds will help that and she will wake up and eat.  The bad news is that the med is a shot she has to have 3 times a week for 2 weeks, so she will definately be there a minimum of 2 more weeks :*-(  I know she's still really little and that this is totally normal, but it really makes me sad.  I was really hoping she would start eating and they'd say "She's perfect, send her home!"  because she's been doing everything else so far ahead of schedule.  Unrealistic I know, but I can't help it.  I keep trying to remind myself that she is where she needs to be, but in my heart I just want her home so bad it hurts.   I get weepy everytime I see someone with a new baby b/c I wish it was me with my new baby.  I'm weepy right now.

That combined with lack of sleep is not making for an easy day for me.  Brendan is sick, his cold or whatever it is has gotten worse.  He's been coughing up a storm.  We gave him meds before bed and that seems to be helping, but I'm going to call the doc in the morning and see if she can give him an RX for it.  Plus Scott's alergies are killing him and he's not feeling well.  I'm terrified that one of them might be contagious and that even though I'm not sick I could carry germs to Meghan.  I didn't go to NICU tonight b/c of that.  I did go for her noon feeding, she nuzzled for about 15 minutes and nursed for about 3.  We did get to get her dressed, which was so sweet.  She's holding her temp perfectly now, so they told us to go ahead and bring some of her clothes in.  We dressed her in the nurse's choice (I LOVE the nurse she had today, this is the 3rd time she's had her, and this nurse is awesome, very friendly and funny and takes great care of her.), a little pink sleeper with green frogs all over it and a matching hat.  The feet on the sleeper are frog faces.  Of course we forgot the digital camera at home.  I took one with a disposible I keep in my purse, but of course we have several pics left on that so it won't be developed for a while.  I plan to take the camera tomorrow. Anyway, the hat fits perfectly, the sleeper is still a little big even though it is a preemie size.  Not too huge though.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for all of us.  I hope my guys feel better!  I have to talk to her nurses too and see if it is OK for me to visit or if they want me to wait and make sure I'm not carrying some virus or something.

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