Wednesday, August 30, 2006

pics from first day of school/last entry

Today was a big day!  Meghan turned 4 months old and Brendan started preschool!  Time is flying by.  Brendan did GREAT!  Last year he only lasted 3 days and cried pretty much the whole time.  Today the only time he cried was when I told him it was time to go home!  Yayyyyy!  ::::::::::fingers crossed:::::::::::::  that he continues to do so well!  The teacher is a friend of my mom's too, I had no idea until I got there and saw her.  We only got first names in his preschool packet. 

Meghan has her checkup tomorrow.  I hope the doc isn't annoyed that I started cereal without checking with him, but I doubt he will be anyway.  He's really good about letting parents trust their gut, and he's really laid back.  He's been a doc longer than I've been alive I think. 

This is also going to be my last post on this blog :-(  Don't worry, you can still get your fix of Meghan updates, I started a Myspace page LOL.  Its at and you can see updated photos and read my blog there if you want.  I just didn't see the point to keeping up 2 blogs.  This one was originally started to keep everyone posted on Meghan's progress in NICU and she's been home for as long as her NICU stay :-) 

Anyway, here's the captions for the photos:

1. First time using her boppy pillow, she didn't quite know what to think.

2. "Cheese!" first day of school

3.  Mommy and Brendan

4. my little 4 month old!

5. She's starting to warm up to him.  He still loves her to pieces LOL.


Thanks for reading my blog, hope to see you on my other one!  If you're on myspace, feel free to add me to your friends list!  If you aren't on myspace, feel free to email me if you ever want to check on Meghan (or Brendan for that matter LOL) I will never pass up an opportunity to talk about my kiddos :-D  Hugs to all, and thank you for reading and for your prayers!

Monday, August 21, 2006

started cereal

I decided not to wait any longer on the cereal, she was eating every hour and a half to two hours.  We started her on it on Saturday and she is doing GREAT!  She does better than Brendan did, tonight she didn't even get any on her bib!  Sat and Sun I gave her a little bit in the evening and today she got it both in the morning and the evening.  She seems happier, not eating as often.  Here's a couple pics of her eating.  Such a cutie!  She goes in a week for her 4 month checkup, can't wait to see how much she weighs!  Also her ubilical hernia seems a lot better, the doc said it might take until she's a toddler to go away but it looks almost completely healed now.  :-)  She's doing so wonderfully!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

its been a while, more pics

OK, time to catch you all up :-)  Meghan started smiling a week and a half ago, the first 2 pics are of that.  The shirt says "my mom's tattoos are better than your moms" it was a hand me down from a friend and I love it!  Scott hates it but oh well LOL.  I thought she was having reflux problems and even scheduled an apt for her on Monday with her ped (even though she has to go back in 2 weeks for her 4 month check up) but it turns out DUH she's TEETHING!!!  I am sooooo not ready for this!  We were in Houston the last couple days and she cried almost all the way home tonight, which is so unlike her b/c she normally only cries when she's hungry.  The past week she's been crying while she eats sometimes so that's part of the reason I thought it was reflux.  Well when she couldn't be soothed on the way home and was chewing on her binky, which she only started taking the last few days, I felt her gums and sure enough there's a tooth trying to come thru.  We stopped for some orajel and she stopped crying right away and fell asleep.  Poor thing!  I think she's also ready for cereal, I'll check with her doc at her checkup but in the evenings she just eats and eats and eats!  Its like the formula can't fill her up. 

OK, the rest of the pics:

3. Sleeping in her swing, she's still so small!

4. ready for pool time at the hotel in Houston.  She was such a happy baby!  The swimsuit is still a little big, but oh well.

5.  her sun bonnett.  Too cute!

6. me and the kids ready for the pool, notice Brendan and I have matching Crocs on :-)  He's so proud of them, he says "croc-a-dile shoes like mama!"

7. love this face, I think he was roaring like a bear at the time LOL

8. he was so proud of himself b/c he was "fwimmin' " :-)

9. I love this photo.  Meghan loved the pool.  :-)

Thursday, August 3, 2006

so lucky

As I read more and more about preemies, I realize even more just how lucky we are.  I joined a couple preemie boards, and a lot of the babies there, even ones born later than Meghan, are having all kinds of problems like seizures and needing surgeries, and have spent 6 mos in NICU, had respirators for months, are on all kinds of meds, etc.  Meghan is as healthy as a normal baby.  Other than needing a vitamin supplement once a day, she's not on any meds or needing any kind of special care.  It is truly miraculous.  She is certainly a wonderful blessing from God.  I am thankful everyday that she is as healthy as she is.  She's a bit developmentally delayed according to her chronological age, but if they go by her adjusted age (due date) she's doing OK.  She's getting closer and closer to smiling and is holding her head up really well when we hold her.  She still won't do it when we lay her on her tummy, but that will come in time.  Several times this week I have gotten choked up holding her because I realize just how incredibly blessed we are. 

A man at church (I don't know him but my parents do) and his wife were expecting a baby.  She was early in the 3rd trimester, like I was with Meghan, and went into labor like I did.  They lost the baby, and then his wife died suddenly of an embelisim (sp?) a few hours later.  He went from being married with a baby on the way to having nothing in just a few hours.  My heart just breaks for him.  A friend of my parents who was with us thru all the stuff with Meg in the hospital also went up to help this man thru the day, and he came back and my parents asked how he was doing, knowing that even being in an envrionment like that can be difficult emotionally, even if it isn't your family.  He told my parents that the reason he was doing OK was because he had witnessed the miracle of Meghan and knew that even though this man had this tragedy happen, there were still miracles in the world and we are living proof of that.  WOW.  When mom told me that I was speechless!  Please say some prayers for the man who lost his wife and child, I can't even begin to imagine his grief.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

august 2 pictures

Here's some updated pics of my baby girl!!

1. looking at mommy

2. she's still so tiny!

3. sleepy baby

4. her first pedicure!  This is why I'm so happy to have a little girl LOL

Friday, July 21, 2006


OK, you asked for them so here they are! 

1. Daddy and Meghan napping together

2. This was taken a week and a half ago, you can see how big she is compared to my hand.

3. Her eyes are going to be blue like her brother's, I'm sure of it.

4. She's getting chubby!

5. sleeping on momma's shoulder

6.  while we were taking pics of her, Brendan decided he wanted to be in the photo.  What a ham!

7. tummy time, she's not too fond of it but it's good for her neck muscles.  :-)

8. Brendan loves to cuddle with her and hold her

9. I don't think she likes it as much :-)

Monday, July 17, 2006

still reading?

are you still reading?  If you are, here's an update :-)

She's doing so amazingly well, it is wonderful.  She's still gaining good weight, about an ounce a day, she's up to around 7.5 lbs or a little over right now.  She's finished with her epogen shots and the doc checked her blood levels last week, she's no longer anemic!  She's awake a lot more too, we no longer have to wake her up to eat.  Tonight I took her to a Stampin' Up! meeting and she was awake the whole time, just looking around.  Of course Grandma held her almost the whole time LOL.  My mom kept asking "do you want me to take her?  are you sure you don't want me to take her?"  LOL I finally said "you want to hold her, don't you?"  Mom did take her to church the other week, and of course everyone loved her.  mom's already trying to get me to let her take her again LOL

She's getting up only once during the middle of the night to eat, but she makes up for it before then.  Usually between 10 and 12 at night she pigs out and will eat like 6 oz (she normally only eats 2.5-3 oz at a feeding) and then she'll sleep for 5 hours. 

Her brother still adores her.  He likes to hold her hand, or he will lay next to her on her mat and say "hey baby, wassup?" and every night before he goes to bed he gives her a kiss too, not just us.  He says "want my baby kiss!"

Speaking of Brendan, I just have to tell you the funniest story about him.  He watches "Go Diego, Go" on Nick Jr. a lot, he loves that show.  Well the other day this is the conversation he and I had:

Brendan: "I gotta go climb the mountain" (this came out of nowhere LOL)

Me: "Oh, really?"

"YES!  Let's go!"

"But Brendan, I don't have any rope"

"Where's my suction cups?"  (I was ROTFL at this point, he doesn't even have suction cups ha ha ha)

"I don't know, where are they?"

"in my backpack.  Where's my backpack?"

"it's in the kitchen"

"OK, C-ya!  Love you!"

It was the cutest thing in the world.  My mom said I should get him suction cups, but then I think he would actually try to use them and that would be interesting to explain to the doctor LOL  We're taking him to build-a-bear sometime this week, I think he will love it.


Friday, June 30, 2006

first week home

For anyone who is still reading this blog, thought I would add an update.  She's still doing great, she's around 7 lbs now, she has gotten lots of shots this week though.  She got 2 Monday at the pediatrician's office (vaccinations) and she has gotten 3 epogen shots, one on M, W and today (F).  Poor thing!  She still has a little bump where she got her vaccinations, but it doesn't seem tender or anything, I'm going to try a warm compress to get rid of it though.  She also had a bit of a fever from the shots, but the doc reccomended tylenol and that worked.

We still wake her up every 3 hours for feeding, but about once a day she decides it is feeding time.  Usually at night, she gets really hungry.  She's been taking on average about 50 cc's during the day, but then for one feeding at night she will take about 90 cc's over the course of a couple hours, then she won't take her next feeding.  It works though b/c the feeding she won't take is the 3 am one LOL.  So we get to sleep a bit more.

I've stopped pumping.  It was a hard decision to make, but I couldn't keep up pumping while taking care of her and Brendan, and she will probably never be a good nurser.  She's VERY picky about her bottles, we had to try 4 different nipples before we found one she would take besides the hospital one.  Of course it is the cheap target brand one, she won't take the expensive playtex vent air ones we got LOL. 

My mom wants to take her to church on Sunday morning.  I told her I didn't want to go b/c she goes to the early Mass (8:30, they leave at about 10 to 8, yawn!) so she said "that's fine, I can take her."  I might let her b/c then I will get to sleep in, but I made her promise not to let a ton of people hold or breathe on Meghan.  I'm still a little nervous, but I trust Mom completely, she's my guru when it comes to taking care of kids, she knows everything.  I took Meghan to her office the other day to show her off to Mom's coworkers, they loved her.  Everyone kept saying how small she is, but to me she's huge LOL.

Brendan is still great with her although he did try to get her to play catch today, luckily he doesn't have good aim @@.  We had to have a little talk about how Meghan is too small to play ball LOL.  He does let me know when I'm not giving him enough attention, today I was trying to get her bottle ready and he came up and said "I hungry Momma.  It's my Nanan's turn!"  so of course I got him a snack before I fed her LOL.  and yes, he does know his name is Brendan and will even say it correctly sometimes, but most of the time he says his name is Nanan.  LOL.  He also knows how to restart her swing, and everytime the music stops he runs over and pushes the button. :-) 

I think that's all, I'm going to go to bed now before I have to get up and feed her in a couple hours.  Hugs!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

first night home

I probably going to end up jinxing myself, but she has got to be one of the easiest babies I've ever cared for!  She never cries.  We wake her up to eat every 3 hours, and she goes back to sleep after eating.  Her only problem is she hasn't pooed in over 24 hours, but I called the nursery and they said that is normal b/c of the supplements she's on, that sometimes babies can go as much as 48 hours.  SHe said if Meghan is acting uncomfortable I may want to call the pedi and he will reccomend a glycerine suppository.  So, we'll see.  Right now she's in her bassinett next to me, sleeping away.

Brendan is thrilled to have her home.  This morning the first thing he said was "go see Meghan!"  He's such a good big brother.  He helped me hold her bottle last night to feed her, and he helps me by throwing diapers away and stuff.  He's a great helper! 

I'm the happiest momma in the world :-D

Friday, June 23, 2006

here's the photos

OK, here's the photos.  Enjoy!

1. Coming home outfit, including the blanket I knitted for her.

2. all dressed in her coming home outfit.  I love those socks, aren't they cute?  A little big though.

3.  close up of my sweet baby girl

4. Yes, my eyes are red b/c I was crying LOL

5. kiss from momma

6. Momma and Meghan

7. Daddy with Meghan.  isn't she tiny in her carseat?? LOL

8. Brendan meeting Meghan

9.  ::::;sniff, sniff::::::  isn't this the cutest thing in the world?????

10.  Our family!!!

11.  Brendan holding Meghan (My MIL is helping)

12.  Daddy with his kiddos.  He was holding Meghan and Brendan said he wanted a hug too.  :-)

13.  her first bath at home.  She didn't fuss at all!

14.  She's yawning and Brendan was like "what's she doing?" LOL

15.  Storytime.  Don't mind the wallpaper boarder, we haven't had a chance to finish stripping it and put the new border up yet :-)

Details of her first day home are in the previous post.  Hugs!

she's HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I am the happiest mom in the whole world.  Words can't describe the feeling I have when I'm holding both my kids.  It is amazing and wonderful.

We roomed in with her last night.  The nurse came in just before her feeding times, every 3 hours, to check her vitals and then we would change and feed her.  She's a little slow on her feedings sometimes, she takes the first half great but gets tired from that and is slow to take the second half, sometimes its a struggle to get her to take it.  However, she took almost the whole feeding everytime, only had 2 that she didn't take quite all of it, and she gained 30 grams (one ounce) overnight so they were happy.  This morning they came to take her to the nursery for her daily assessment and then came back in to tell us they were definately discharging her!  The nurse practitioner came in and went over a ton of stuff with us, Meghan has follow up appointments with a pediatric opthomologist to reexamine her eyes (so far they're fine), an apt with a pediatric neurologist for a final head/brain scan (her first 2 were perfect), and a home nurse coming in to give her the final 4 shots of epigen over the next week and a half.  She'll also have an evaluation by a developmental nurse to determine if she is doing things when she should, but that will be in a few months.  PHEW!  This is all in addition to her normal visits with her pediatrician, whom she will meet on Monday.  After the nurse practitioner went thru all this, she went and wrote up the discharge papers and we were out of there!!!!

Meghan looks so cute in her carseat, she's so tiny!!  Of course we have photos of everything, which Scott is working on downloading and emailing.  The camera software is on his computer of course, and I usually do this website from my computer, but later on I may just go down to his computer to upload the tons and tons of photos to this site. 

Brendan came home about an hour after we got there, after his nap.  His Grandma asked him if he wanted to go to the park (his favorite place) or go see Meghan and he said "I wanna go see Meghan!"  LOL.  He was sooooo happy to see her!  I was holding her and he came up and said "wow!!  She's sooo cute!" and touched her, then gave her a gentle kiss!  A few minutes later he was playing then stopped, came over, hugged her very gently and said "I love you Meghan!"  OMG I about cried it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen!  I'm tearing up just thinking about it!  He doesn't want to leave her side, I put her in her swing and he ran over to it and stayed right there watching her.  I did have to stop him from swinging it once or twice of course, but she was buckled in just in case :-)  She just stares at him like "who is this crazy kid?"  That's when she's awake, which is rare.  This kid sleeps thru anything.  There was construction going on in the room next to us at the hospital, and she slept thru it all.  She sleeps about 22 hours a day.  Right now she's asleep in her bassinett next to me.  I LOVE our bassinett, the basket part that she sleeps in she comes off the base and is portable.  Anyway, Brendan even held her and Scott's parents got a couple pics of the four of us, with Brendan holding her.  I LOVE saying that, "the four of us"!!!  After she ate we took the kids (another of my new favorite things to say) upstairs for bathtime.  After we got brendan washed up, he played in the tub while we washed her in her tub on the counter.  Then after they were dried off and in their PJ's they both sat on my lap for storytime.  We got pics of that too.  OMG this has been the best day of my life. 

I promise I will upload the photos as soon as I can.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

carseat study update

I talked to them last night and she gained half an ounce, she's now 6 lbs 1.6 oz (BIG girl!!  LOL) and she passed her carseat study!!  Yayyyy!  I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking of all the stuff we should get and do before she comes home LOL.  We're going up late this afternoon and as of right now the plan is we won't be coming back home without her!  Scott is taking his laptop I think, so if I can I will update from the hospital. 

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

worried about nursing/carseat study/epigen

I went up for her 9 pm feeding to bring her carseat so they can do the carseat study tonight (yayyyyy!!)  I also tried nursing her for the first time in a few weeks.  I hadn't been nursing her b/c it was more important for her to get the hang of bottle feeding, and tonight she didn't want to latch at all :-(  I'm hoping once she comes home we can get her trasitioned easily, b/c I can't handle pumping AND bottle feeding for too long.  Right now pumping is enough of a pain in the rear b/c I have to make sure to be home every 3 hours or so.  If she's nursing and I'm out somewhere I can still nurse her.  However, if she's bottle feeding and I'm still pumping, I have to feed her and then pump which will be very difficult especially at night.  Scott will help I'm sure, but still.  I know breastmilk is best for her, and I'm really hoping she will transition, but I'm not too optimistic about it.  She just doesn't have the strength to really nurse well yet.  Bottle feeding is sooooo much easier for her b/c it just drips into her mouth if she doesn't suck.  We'll have to see how it goes, I will give it a few weeks.  A lady from church went thru that not too long ago and said she's got all kinds of info and tips for me if I need them.  However, if after a month she's still not nursing I will have to reevaluate things.  I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but we'll see.  I was only able to nurse Brendan for 6 weeks b/c I went back to work, and he's healthy as a horse b/c those first 6 weeks I know are the most important.  I think if she gets breastmilk for 3 full months we'll be doing good.  Of course I'll discuss it with her pediatrician too. 

Sorry for rambling, just had all that on my mind and needed to get it out.  I forgot to mention earlier that she is still anemic, so they are doing another round of the epigen, the 3x a week for 2 weeks shot.  Good news is that they won't make her stay in the hospital, they will have a home nurse come over and give her the shot. 

Tomorrow we are rooming in, and then friday the plan is to bring her home as long as the rooming in goes well.  She didn't want to take her 9 pm feeding for me and the nurse said if she doesn't eat for us and/or looses weight it may push back her discharge, but I think she'll be fine.  She takes most of her feedings just fine for me.  We will probably just give herbottles thru the night to make sure she is eating so that she doesn't loose weight.  I think part of the reason she didn't eat was b/c I tried to nurse first and that tires her out.  Plus she usually has one or two feedings a day where she doesn't take the whole thing b/c she is sleepy, but she still gains weight so they're happy.  I talked to the nurse about it and pointed out that if she was home and did that we could just try again in an hour or so, we don't HAVE to keep her on the 3 hour schedule they have her on, and she agreed with me.  We'll see how it goes. 

ROOMING IN!!!!!!!!!!

Well, we got the results from the PCG (pneumocardiogram study).  She's not having any problems.  No apnea, no reflux, low percentage of periodic breathing.  The pulmonologist had no reccomendations.  The pediatrician said she wants her to be nippling her feedings better, but this was the first time the pedi saw her b/c she just got back from maternity leave.  The nurse practitioner I talked to has seen Meghan several times a week and thinks she is doing great.  She said she has one or two feedings a day when she is too tired to eat the full amount, but that most of her feedings she takes just fine.  She's also been taking them in less time than she used to and with less "episodes".  Plus once she comes home if she is too sleepy for a feeding we can try again in an hour, we don't have to keep her to the 3 hour schedule.  I mentioned that to the nurse practitioner and she agreed with me.  So she asked if the carseat study had been done yet and I said no, so she said to bring the carseat and plan to room in with Meghan TOMRROW and bring her home on FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's as long as nothing with Meghan changes but that's the plan for now.  Woooohoooo!!!!!  So we'll spend the night with her tomorrow at the hospital, with the monitors, and then she'll come home the next day.  Scott's not thrilled about rooming in b/c he has issues with hospitals, but I talked him into it b/c I want to make sure we can handle her since she's not a "normal" baby. 

Monday, June 19, 2006

computer issues/numocardiogram

sorry I've been slow to update, I'm having computer issues grrrrr.  my computer network card isn't working so I can't sign on, and on dh's computer AO-hell isn't working so I have to sign on to grrrrrr. 

Anyway, as of last night she is 5 lbs 14 oz, over 2 x her original body weight of 2 lbs 14 oz.  she's getting sooooo big!!  they started the numocardiogram study today (I hope I spelled that right) and she is not too happy about it.  she has to lay flat on her back, not sitting up at all, and I can't hold her at all until it is done.  it's a 24 hour test and it won't be done until 2:30pm tomorrow (tuesday).  It is the size of the feeding tube but a little stiffer, and put down into her chest thru her nose.  she's showing signs of reflux now that she's flat on her back, coughing and gagging a bit sometimes, but the test will tell us for sure.  If it is reflux causing the heartrate drops, that is good b/c it is easily fixed with meds.  We probably won't know until Wednesday though.  for feeding today they are just sitting her up in her crib and burping her sitting up, since they can't move her,and they also have to write down exactly what time they start and finish so that if they notice any abnormalities when they download the results from the machine they can compare times.  They won't weigh her tonight either b/c they can't take the stuff off her.  She will probably gain a good amount of weight since she isn't getting moved around much. 

They mentioned the carseat study yesterday which isa great sign since that is pretty much the last thing they do before sending her home.  they said they were looking to do that this week, after the numocardiogram.  Yayyyyyy!!!!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

holding her head up

we went up last night for her 9 pm feeding, she took most of it but a couple cc's short of her goal.  she took all of her other feedings though.  She gained almost an ounce and is now 5 lbs 11.3 oz.  Last night while I was burping her she kept lifting her head off my shoulder to look around, just like a normal 6-7 week old baby would do!!  it was so cute. 

Friday, June 16, 2006

Friday, 36 weeks

Meghan is now 36 weeks gestational age.  She'll be 7 weeks old on Sunday.  Sh's been doing good on her feedings except her midnight one last night, she kept having heartrate drops and ended up only taking 40 cc's.  She also lost weight last night, 4 grams whichisn't a lot, but still.  however, the nurse said Meghan had a big poop just before herweigh in so that may have contributed to the weight loss :-) 

They are going to do that study on her, starting on Monday.  The good news is that after she does the study they don't make her wait the 7 days, they will just send her home on a monitor if needed or medication depending on the results.  So, hopefully that means she will be home next week.  My baby brother was sent home on a monitor, and I was 14 at the time so I remember it pretty well.  it's kind of a pain to drag around, but at least it will offer us peace of mind.  I'll probably sleep better without feeling the need to wake up and look at her every few minutes to make sure she's OK.  But we'll have to wait for the results. 

Thursday, June 15, 2006


She had her first full 2 oz bottle today.  She's been hungry today, her feeding this morning she sucked down in 14 minutes which is about half the time it normally takes her.  She was awake the whole time we were there, and even smiled at her daddy.  Mostly she just stared at us, it was really cute.  She's 5 lbs 10.5 oz now, growing like a weed.  She gains on average about an ounce and a third each night, which is great.  Talked to the nurse practitioner again and she is looking at the beginning of next week, she said the 18th is the earliest but they may want to keep her another couple days.  That's IF she doesn't have any heartrate drops.  If they do the study most likely the result will be that she is just immature, and they will probably send her home on a monitor and maybe will put her back on caffiene but probably won't have to do that since her episodes are only once every 6 or 7 days.  She's not even having them much during feedings anymore, sometimes only once every couple days which is great, and it is usually b/c she forgets to swallow.  They said the test will show if it is reflux, which I doubt it is but even if it is that's just medication that they give her.  So, time will tell, right now we have no idea when she will be home which is frustrating.  I am a planner, I like to know well ahead of time what is going on, not be hanging in limbo wondering if I can go to a movie on Tuesday or if I will have my baby home.  :::::::sigh:::::::  She's 36 weeks tomorrow, and will be 7 weeks old on Sunday.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

she smiled at me!

OK, now I am sure her smiles are real.  Not just gas, although she has plenty of that.  Today I picked her up and was talking to her, and she opened her eyes and looked right at me then grinned.  I was so happy!!!  She loves her momma!

She is still without the feeding tube.  She had 2 feedings yesterday that she didn't meet her goal of 50 cc's, she only took 40 those two times, but she still gained over an ounce so they are still happy.  Plan is still if she doesn't have any more heartrate drops she will come home on the 17th or 18th, around there.  If she does have more, they will do that study with the tube in her chest.  I'm saying major prayers that they don't have to do that. 

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Tuesday update

OK, lets see, what's new?  She's still at 50-55 cc's, although today she's been real sleepy and hasn't been taking it all, one feeding she only did 40.  They still did not put the tube back in though, they decided to wait and see how she does overnight.  I'm praying they don't have to put that nasty tube back in.  She had that heartrate drop on the 8th or 9th, and she had one on the 10th during a feeding which they normally don't count but I guess they had to stimulate her a little so they may or may not count it.  So, if she doesn't have any more she may be coming home end of this week, beginning of the next.  If she does have another drop, they will probably do a test on her where they place a tube down into her chest thru her nose for 24 hours and it records all kinds of different things to determine what is causing the drops, most likely it is just immaturity but they want to make sure it isn't reflux or something else.  So right now it is a waiting game.  She's still gaining, a little under an ounce last night and she hasn't been weighed tonight yet.  Her nurse today, Ed, said "by the way your daughter has a very special talent." and I thought for a moment and said "she's stinky?" and he laughed so hard and said "YES!!!  That child can curl your nose hairs!!"  LOL.  She is a gassy baby.  Makes her 15 year old uncle proud.  :-D  It doesn't bother her at all, she just grunts and lets it go.  Stinks up her whole corner of the unit though!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

update and photos

OK, daily update time.  She's up to 55 cc's, only 5 cc's less than 2 oz, at feeding time.  She's been taking all her bottles, has had the feeding tube out for 24 hours (she pulled it out herself last night and they left it out b/c she had been taking all her feedings) and is up to 5 lbs 6.9 oz.  She only gained like a quarter of an ounce yesterday, but the day before she gained 2.5 oz and today she gained over an ounce so they're still happy.  We vistited her this afternoon and she slept the whole time (we weren't there during a feeding) but she was so sweet.  Some of these photos are from that, I'll explain the photos in a minute.  She also only has little dips during feeding and they are getting better.  She hasn't been having heartrate drops during feeding, only saturation drops and they are getting much better, she's only having one or maybe 2 during feedings and they only usually go to the low 80's and come right back up quickly on her own.  When I feed her I watch her face instead of the monitor (since the monitors aren't coming home) and can tell by the color in her face when she's dropping a bit, I take the bottle out of her mouth and sit her up a little more and she pulls right out of it.  She just forgets to breathe a little sometimes, or she will suck too hard and get too much milk.  All in all she's doing great though!

OK, photos.  #1. I'm feeding her, #2. that's me, I look terrible so don't pay attention to me, just look at the cute baby LOL.  #3.  I have proof she is smiling #4. holding daddy's hand.

She's 6 weeks old today.  I wish I could say the time has flown by, but it hasn't.  It will when she's home.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

forgot to mention

Meghan actually outgrew something already!  She has a tiny pink sleeper that was the only thing that actually fit her, (thanks again, Tara!!!) and I went to put it on her last night and it was too tight!!  She did get to wear it several times, and I'm going to do some sort of shadow box with it to show just how small she was.  She's getting so big!

Fri night/ Sat morning

Last night I went up for her 9 pm feeding with my parents.  She took the whole thing for me, then proceeded to fill her drawers.  STINKY baby!  LOL.  They also weighed her, she gained over 2 oz and was now 5 lbs 5.2 oz, which is great since the couple days before she hadn't gained very much.  This morning I went up for her noon feeding and she took it all again for me.  The nurse (a Chinese lady who I like a lot, I hope she gets her as a nurse often.  She's had her 2 times so far) said that she had to tube feed 15 cc's from the 9 am feeding b/c Meghan wasn't cooperating, but that all the feedings between last night and then she took the whole things.  So, she's doing good.  :-)  Oh, she didn't have any real big desaturations for me, just minor ones, and no heartrate drops while eating. 

Friday, June 9, 2006

big bummer

I went up today and got to talk to the nurse practitioner.  I asked her if what the doc said was true, if Meghan would be coming home tomorrow, and she was like "Oh, sometimes the doc gets overexcited."  She said that first of all, the tube was still in so that's a definate no, plus Meghan had a heartrate drop apparently on like the 7th or 8th (she said yesterday,w hich was the 8th, but she said it was the 7th so I'm not sure which day).  So, Meghan has another week from then.  Damn it.  She has one like every 6 days, and they start the count over. 

The NP said she would also be moving from fortified breastmilk (they put powdered formula in it) to 6 feedings per day of breastmilk and 2 per day of formula before she comes home, and that we will be continuing that when she comes home for a little while.  She is still gaining weight, but she's slowing down and is only gaining about half an ounce a day, she's up to 5 lbs 2.8 oz as of last night.  She's taking most of her feedings, sometimes they have to put the last 10 cc's in the feeding tube but most of the time she takes the whole thing.

::::::::::::::sigh::::::::::::  it has been 41 very very very long days.

Thursday, June 8, 2006


Spoke to the nurse tonight to see how she was doing and she said "welllllll, she's doing OK.  She's had a few sat drops and heartrate dips. . . " [all of this said as if Meghan was doing not so great, had me worried] then she went on to say "but they've all been during feeding times."  DUH.  The doctor said that's totally normal and not a big deal, that she sometimes sucks too hard on the bottle or gets too much in her mouth and forgets to breathe, and it is easy to tell if that is happening even without looking at the monitors.  It is so normal that they don't even count those against her, and if that is the only time she does it then they will still send her home.  Then she said she had to gave feed the last 10 cc's (out of 50) b/c Meghan had a couple of those episodes.  That's another difference from hospital vs. home, when she is home we can let her rest and try the rest of the food in an hour.

The nurses sometimes bug me.  Her nurse during the day today was great.  She encouraged us to keep trying with her feeding at noon even though she had an "episode" and she ended up taking the rest of the bottle.  However, she gets a lot of nurses who can't get past her age and just assume she's too little and don't hardly try.  That bugs me.  Luckily it is the doc who makes the decision to send her home, not the nurses.  What they don't seem to get is that she is on her own schedule, not the "normal for her gestational age" schedule.  She's been ahead of everything so far.  Even feeding, she's doing much better than most babies her age.  The little boy next to us was born 2 days before her, also at 29 weeks, and he only takes about half his feedings, still has to gavage quite a bit.  She takes pretty much all her feedings, especially when she has a nurse who is willing to try harder.  Once she comes home, we can let her rest in between, but they have her on this strict 3 hour schedule.  Maybe what the doc said today will happen, maybe she will come home this weekend, and we can feed her according to her needs and her schedule. 

move went well, feeding tube back

Her move went great, the only time she fussed was when she got there b/c she was hungry (her feeding time was while they were moving her, so they had to postpone it 45 min.).  I like the new place, it's much smaller although a bit cramped, but it is sooooo much closer.  we timed it last night, it takes about 15 minutes to get home from there.  There's only 6 babies there, so she gets lots of attention.  :-) 

Only one unpleasant surprise, her feeding tube was back in last night.  She only took half her noon feeding and I guess did the same thing at the next one so they had to reinsert it.  Unlike at home, they have her on a 3 hour schedule so if she doesn't finish they can't exactly just re-try in an hour.  However, now that the tube is back in she's taking her feedings well again.  @@.  Brat.  LOL.  We fed her the 9 pm feeding last night and her noon feeding today and she took both full ones.  I may go back up for her 9 pm I don't know.  We'll see how things go tonight.  I do like having her so close though!

Apparent;y the pedi mentioned to the nurse today that she may go home on the 10th.  I don't know how that's possible since she still has the tube in and that's only 2 days away, but we'll see!

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

getting moved

Just got a call, they are moving her to the other hospital.  I guess that means she still has several more days, :-(  but at least she will be a lot closer.  It is a much smaller unit too, only 8 beds so basically the size of one bay at the other hospital, where there were 6 bays.  They are a level 2 nursery, not a NICU, so they don't care for the really sick babies or babies on ventilators etc.  They do care for babies like Meghan, or ones that need nasal cannulas or feeding tubes, but nothing major.  I guess this is a good thing, it means she's graduating, but instead of graduating home she has to go to another nursery.  One more step.

Their hours are pretty much the same, closed from 6-8 am and pm and from 2:30-3:30 pm, sometimes from 10-11 at night too.  Visitor rules are the same, and they still do scrub in and everything.  The parking is free, and it is only 15-20 minutes from our house.  Its a good thing. 

good news either way

Today while I was visiting Meghan, a nurse came over to talk to the mom next to me about moving her baby to the other branch, which is about halfway between my house and the hospital.  She said it's NICU is great for babies who are close to going home but are still small or needing help learning to eat etc.  She explained that they move the babies when the NICU she is in now is getting full, which it is at the moment.  They move them in a specially equiped ambulance, with the NICU nurses.  When she was done, I said to her "if you're looking for babies to move, feel free to move mine.  It's a LOT closer to my house."  so she said "Thanks!  I'll talk to her doctor."  I spoke with him before I left and he said that he would look over her chart.  If it looks like she only has a few more days he said it wouldn't be worth moving her, but if it looked like it was going to be close to a week or so, he sait it might work better to move her.  So, either way it's good news.  If he says no, then that means she will be home soon.  If he says yes, at least she will be a lot closer plus they have free parking so I won't have to pay every time I visit her.  Maybe their hours will be better too and I'll be able to spend more time with her.

She only took about half her feeding for me at noon, but the one at 9 am she apparently sucked the whole thing down in 10 minutes, so it all just depends on her.  She got a couple big mouthfulls while I was feeding her and choked on it a bit, which made her sats drop.  I think that wore her out and that's why she didn't take more.  The first 15 cc's she gulped down pretty quickly, she was hungry. 

She's smiling a lot more, I don't know if it is still involentary or not.  Brendan smiled for real the first time at 5 weeks.  She's 5.5 weeks old now, and I know preemies are slow at developmental steps but I don't know if they are always slow on everything or not.  For now I'm going to pretend that she was smiling at her momma.  :-)

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

no feeding tube, but still waiting

She had a great nurse today.  Debbie Rae, a woman as southern as her name.  She said "I took that tube out, she's doin' too well on her feeds to need that thang.  I don't know why they put it back in anyhow, the protocol says not to unless they're losin' weight which she ain't doin'.  We're supposed ta just undress em or whatever we need to do to keep 'em awake to eat.  So I'm just gonna make sure she stays awake ta eat today."  Great nurse :-)  She did great on her feedings today too.  I went up at noon and met with a lactation consultant to discuss how to move her from bottle to breast. She said to nurse her first, and then if she still acts hungry to give her a bottle, and to feed her as often as she wants.  If she wants to eat every hour or two, let her.  And just make sure she's having plenty of wet and dirty diapers, that is a good indicator of if she's getting enough milk.  So I nursed her at noon, she latched great one one side but not on the other, then she was acting hungry still so i gave her a bottle and she took 20 cc's. 

I was really geeked, and thought she was coming home maybe in a couple days.  Well, I called tonight to check on her and asked the nurse when she thought meghan would be coming home and she said that meghan had a heartrate drop on the3rd, so it will be at least 7 days after that.  My heart sunk.  I didn't know that she had one then.  the nurse had mentioned it but said that since it was right after a feed she didn't think it would count against her (drops during feeds don't count against them) but apparently it did.  I am so bummed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm trying not to be imptient, and my little brother even said "it's better for her to be in the hospital now, you wouldn't want to bring her home and have her get sick, would you?" but I'm still really upset.  This has been the longest 5 1/2 weeks of my life. 

Sunday, June 4, 2006

small disapointment

Yesterday I took my mom out for her very belated Mother's Day afternoon.  Meghan's Godmother, Debra, joined us and the 3 of us got pedicures, visited meghan and went to see a chick flick.   When we visited Meghan I got a pleasant surprise, they had removed her feeding tube!  The nurse said she had been taking all of her feedings over hte last day and a half except one, so they removed it.  this was at 3:30.  However, she said she had a little trouble with her noon feeding but not her 3 pm feeding so they were going to keep an eye on her.

Then last night I called and she said that they had put her tube back in for her 6 pm feeding b/c she only bottle fed half of it, and then of course Meghan pulled it out again.  the nurse said she was going to keep it out and see if she could bottle feed the rest of the feedings.  well, we got there today and the tube was back in.  I'm really disapointed, I was really hoping that she could bottle feed the rest of them.  The nurse today said that usually when the baby feeds for 24 hours they take the tube out, then after another 24 horus if everything else is good they send them home.  She also said that they won't give us much notice, just lilke a day or two.  So, we have her carseat, which we are bringing up to the hospital tomorrow for her carseat study (they make sure that she doesn't have any apnea or heartrate drops in her carseat, basically they sit her in it for an hour with her monitors on), I have an appointment with a lactation consultant to discuss the best way to move her from mainly bottle feeding to mainly breastfeeding on tuesday, and we have a note on her chart to talk to the doc and set up an appointment for rooming in.  We are ready.  We want her home.  One more step and she will be ready.  All she needs to do is eat all her feedings from a bottle.  Come on Meghan, you can do it!!!!!

Friday, June 2, 2006

post partum depression, meghan update

I just called her nurse, so I have an up to the minute report.  She's doing great, taking more and more feedings.  She took her 9 am, noon (I gave it to her) and 3 pm bottles, I'm assuming the whole thing b/c the nurse didn't mention how many cc's, and then she rested for her 6 pm and took her 9 pm in a bottle.  She's 4 lbs 11.9 oz as of last night, up to 46 cc's each feeding and doing great.  She's on day 5 of no heartrate drops, and has to go 7 days efore being allowed home.  Also has to take her bottles for 48 hours straight, no gavage feeding. 

they moved her to the "big kid's bay" as I like to call it, she's in the bay with all the babies that are ready to go home.  Not sure if I like that or not, because as I was there today 3 babies went home, one was going home this afternoon, and one was told she could take her baby home tuesday.  I WANT TO TAKE MY BABY HOME!  LOL.  I was very jealous, but I know it will happen soon.  My patience is wearing thin though.  I am encouraged by how many bottles she's taking though, she's improving constantly!

she also got a shot while I was there, her last iron shot.  the nurse asked me if I wanted to leave, but I said it was OK, I can handle it.  I wanted to be there to comfort her afterward, but she didn't need comforting.  She only cried for like 15 seconds.  By the time the nurse had disposed of the syringe and put a bandaid on her, she was fine!  even the nurse asked her "Is that all??"  LOL.  She's a very easy baby!  After that I got to feed her and hold her for quite a while, more quality time with her than I've been able to get in a while.  I think I held her for almost 2 hours today, it was so nice.  then I got to spend some quality time with Brendan this afternoon, he has a new game where he comes up to me and says "HI!" and I say HI back, and he cracks up and does it again.  LOL.  no idea why he thinks it is funny, but that's OK.

I went to my doc today to talk about postpartum depression before I visited Meghan.  He and I talked a lot about my symptoms, a lot of crying jags and mood swings and anger etc, and he asked if the stress in my life was causing it or if it the reactions were excessive compared to the stress.  I told him that I'm sure the stress is a factor, but that I normally am better than this at handling stress, and since I had a touchof ppd  with my son my doc put me on prozac.  He said there is some research that some antidepressants can have a negative effect on neurological development in nursing babies, causing them to be slightly developmentally delayed, but that prozac seems to have one of the least effects of the different antidepressants used.  he also said that most pediatricians agree that of 3 options, a medicated mom nursing, a medicated mom not nursing, and a non medicated mom nursing, that they prefer a medicated mom nursing.  he said the benefits of nursing outweigh the risks with this med, and that having me medicated and feeling better is better for her.  he said "If momma ain't happy, no one's happy!"  LOL.  I like my doc, he's very down to earth.  He wants me to come back in 3 weeks, and Meghan should be home by then, God willing, so I'll get to show her off.  :-)

photo and update

Here's a photo of when our Priest came to visit on Memorial day.  Isn't she getting big??  She gained again last night, but not as much as the night before, which is fine b/c the night before she gained like 3 oz LOL.  She also took her whole midnight feeding from a bottle, but then hasn't bottle fed since.  I'm going in for her noon feeding so maybe she will then. 

I have a doc apt just before I go to see her, I'm going to talk to my doc about postpartum depression.  I had a mild case of it with Brendan and I'm showing signs of it again, so I'm trying to be on top of things and get it taken care of quickly.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

close to coming home!

According to both her doc and her nurse, Meghan is very close to coming home if she can just get the hang of eating.  the doc said "maybe another week or two, but I doubt it will be that long."  She has to go 7 days without any heartrate drops and she is already on day 4.  She also has to eat every feeding from  a bottle and continue to gain weight while doing so.  the weight thing shouldn't be an issue, little miss piggy gained 3 oz last night to bring her up to 4 lbs, 10.6 oz.  She's getting chunky!!  Its so cute, she is a little chubby baby now with rolls on her legs and a double chin and little jowls.  Over the last couple days she has taken 3 or 4 full bottles and several half bottles.  Today at noon we fed her a little over half of one, so she is getting there hopefully.  they said if she gets the hang of it in the next few days, she could come home early next week!  She has to nipple every feeding for 48 hours. 

:::::::::::::::fingers crossed::::::::::::::::::::  I liked her nurse today, she's interested in getting Meghan to eat, rather than just saying "oh, she's asleep, we'll just gavage feed her", and she showed us ways to wake her up to eat and to keep her awake, which will help when we come home too.  I hope she has this nurse again. 

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Memorial Day/special visitor

Yesterday was Memorial Day.  I went up to see Meghan in the morning and Scott stayed here with Brendan and finished mowing.  I asked mom if she wanted to go, and she invited Fr. E, our Priest, who had been wanting to meet Meghan.  So, we picked him up and he came with us.  He wore his collar, which ended up being a pass into the NICU b/c they let him come in with Mom and me, instead of limiting us to only 2 :-)  I don't know if it was the collar or the holiday, but it worked.  We got some photos of him holding Meghan, so as soon as mom emails them to me I will post them.  He also gave her a blessing before he left. 

She's doing well.  Yesterday she was 4 lbs 4.9 oz, then last night she was 4 lbs 6.7 oz.  I don't think she had any apnea yesterday, and only one the day before.  She's taking on average about 8-10 cc's from most of her bottles, sometimes she is just too tired.  I talked to Mom and Scott and even one of the nurses and they all told me, as nice as possible, that I need to relax and let Meghan do her thing on her own schedule.  They're right.  I think I was just having a hormonal moment or something during the last entry.  I just want her to come home. 

Sunday, May 28, 2006


She's now 4 lbs 3 oz, eating 40 cc's and she's IN A BED!!!!!!!!  They moved her out of the isolette while we were there this afternoon.  She's in one of those little clear acrylic basket things they use in the regular nursery.  I called a little while ago and they said she's doing great in it, her temp has stayed normal and no problems.

As for bottle feeding, it seems to depend on the nurse.  Some of them are like "oh, she's only 33 weeks so we aren't even going to really try unless she's REALLY wanting to" or they only even try every other time.  I would honestly prefer them to at least TRY at each feeding, unless she's sound asleep, because the ones that do try usually have good results.  When they do try, she usually takes at least 10 cc's and she's taken her whole feeding 3 times in the last couple days.  She may only be 33 weeks, but she has so far surpassed all their other expectations wayyy ahead of schedule, so the doc is hoping she will be ready to go home in a couple weeks.  She HAS to start nippling all her feedings though, so she needs her nurses to work with her.  Maybe they will more once she's 34 weeks.  I dunno.  Part of me wants to talk to them, or at least to the doc and request them to at least try at almost every feeding, but I don't want to sound like a pushy mom.  I don't want them to think I'm rushing her and not putting her needs first, because that's not it.  I just feel that she would catch on a lot quicker if they would try more often.  She's doing very well on the bottle when she does try.  She's got the suck-swallow-breathe thing down pretty well.  And when I feed her I watch her cues, if she starts having sat drops of falling asleep I stop, I'm not going to push her too far.  I just want them to at least try, not just say "oh, she's only 33 weeks so don't bother."  I know a lot of 33 weekers don't take bottles at all, but then again a lot of 33 weekers also don't hold their own body temp without the incubator, and they still require caffeine to avoid apnea spells, some of them are still on nasal cannulas to assist breathing.  She's quite advanced for her age, and I feel that some of her nurses just group her into a generalization of what a 33 weeker should be doing, KWIM.  ::::::::::sigh:::::::::  Sorry, just needed to vent a little.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Friday and Saturday

Sorry I didn't get a chance to update yesterday, so now I'm doing a 2 day update.  

Friday:  Scott's birthday.  His parents went with us to see Meghan.  His mom held her for the first time (see photos) and his dad got to see her for the first time in a couple weeks.  We got to talk to her doc and he said that it might only be a couple more weeks!!  No way to really tell yet, it depends on how soon she starts eating all her feedings from a bottle and how she does when they move her out of the isolette.  But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel at least.  She was 3 lbs 15.5 oz yesterday.

Saturday: I went up with my parents for a short while.  My mom held her, my dad visited her but is a bit intimidated by her size to hold her yet (he's 6'4", a big guy, so to him she is super tiny) she is still bottle feeding at about half her feedings, usually taking 10-15 cc's.  Still a few minor A's and B's, nothing too major and totally expected for her age.  they went up to 40cc's for her feedings.  Oh, and she is 4 lbs 1.8 oz!!!!!!!  Finally over 4 lbs.  Such a big girl!!  She's doing very well.  Not sure if we are going back up tonight, or if Scott might go up by himself or what.  We shall see. 

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Thursday update

She had another good gain yesterday, she's now 3 lbs 14 oz.  Only one ounce smaller than I was when I was born (full term, just tiny), and she is officially one lb heavier than she was at birth!!!!!  Yayyyy!

Scott gave her a bottle today, she took 14 cc's from it before she quit and we gavage fed the rest.  They will be moving her to a regular bed soon, one of those little clear box things they use in the nursery.  She's ready to move out of the isolette, temp wise, but not quite ready size wise.  Probably in the next couple days.  She might be over 4 lbs at her weigh in tonight, she gained over 2 oz yesterday.  She's been having a few more apnea spells so they are going to check her residual caffeine level soon and see if she needs to go back on it or not. 

We also talked to the nurse about rooming in, a friend of mine said she did that with her baby at a different hospital.  Our hospital does it too, they have a room where you spend the night in there with your baby but it is right next to the NICU and has monitors that can be monitored from the nurse's station.  Basically to make sure you're comfortable taking care of the baby and that the baby is comfortable with you.  They reccomend one or two nights just before you go home, and they said they will go over it more with us when we get closer to her discharge date.  I'm really looking forward to that date!!  I just wish we knew when it is. . . .

more photos!

My cute baby girl!  Mom went up with me last night to see her grandbaby, and we got some more great photos.


Meghan nursed for about 20 minutes until she had a little heartrate drop, so I stopped.  Then she was too tired to bottle feed, so they just put it thru the gavage tube.  I still plan to go up for one or two feedings a day, but I think I'm not going to nurse, just bottle feed.  She's not getting much milk from nursing, only a few cc's, then she's too tired to bottle feed.  Yesterday I guess she took 30 cc's from a bottle once, and 18 another time, so she does a lot better on the bottle.  The nurse said a lot of preemies go home on the bottle and mom's pump or formula feed.  I plan to keep the pump for a while and just bottle feed or nurse a little once she comes home, but if nursing makes her too sleepy for a bottle and she's not getting enough milk, I don't think it is benefiting her much.  I'll talk to the nurse about it.  The main thing is that no matter how she eats it, she's getting my milk and not formula, that will help her so much in the long run.

Brendan is going to his Grandparent's house today (Scott's parents) and Scott and I  are going up to see her then going to work on moving furnature in her room.  We need to move the dresser out of Brendan's room b/c it goes with the crib and has a changing pad spot on it, and we got him a new big bookshelf (he has drawers under his bed for clothes, doesn't need a dresser.)  He saw the shelf downstairs and loved it, he thought it was very fun to climb on so we will need to keep a close eye on him LOL.

Scott's birthday is tomorrow.  We're going out to eat with his parents, then my parents are taking us out on Saturday.  X men opens tomorrow too, we might go see it during the day.  And of course we will go visit our baby girl, maybe Scott's parents will join us.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

great nursing!

I went up for her noon feeding and she nursed for almost 30 minutes!!  She must have been hungry b/c as soon as I put her up there she latched on right away and wouldn't let go.  I tried to switch sides after about 20 minutes and she didn't want to, I had to pry her off!  She didn't nurse as well on the other side so I tried the bottle, she took about 5 cc's before getting too tired.  Her sats stayed perfect while she was nursing, started dropping when she was bottle feeding so I took that as her cue for getting too tired.  She is sooooooo cute!  She's doing well today, no A's or B;s (Apnea or Bradychardia [sp??] spells)  and she's been trying to bottle feed at every feeding.  Oh, forgot to mention last night that her weight was 3 lbs 11.4 oz!!  I'm going back up tonight with my mom and maybe my dad, he has never held her yet so if he comes up with us it will be his first time holding her.  :-)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

quick midnight update

I didn't get to go up there tonight, they were closed b/c a baby was having surgery in there so they shut the whole unit down to avoid infection.  I did just get off the phone with them though, she's had a few short sat drops but all have been self resolved, no heartrate drops this evening, and she's been bottle feeding about every other feeding, she just took 14 cc's from the bottle a few minutes ago.  (her full feeding is 34 cc's).  The night nurse said she was going to nipple every other feeding to give her a little break in between, she'll gavage feed the other feedings.  We'll go back up tomorrow for her noon feeding.  She's doing good!

Tuesday update

FINALLY remembered the camera, and she made it so worth it!!!!  She was adorable today, wide awake and looking all around.  She was wearing a little tiny sleeper too and it fits, not too huge.  SOOOO cute.

She's been having some heartrate dips and sat drops.  The nurse assured me it was normal for her age and that they weren't that bad, just lasting a few seconds.  The nurse said it might be because the caffeine is all out of her system now.  They're keeping a close eye on her and will see how she does, they may end up having to put her back on the caffeine.  She's Grandma's girl after all LOL.

I tried nursing and she really wanted to, she was crying for food and was rooting around and latching on, but everytime she started to nurse her sats dropped to the low 80s so I quit.  We gave her a bottle and she did better with that, her sats stayed in the upper 80s and higher, and she took 6-8 cc's.  Then we put the rest in the feeding tube b/c she was getting hungry and taking forever to eat.

The nuse just gushed about how cute she is.  She said she tried to bottle feed her earlier but Meghan only took a few cc's, so the nurse said "So I just held her for a few and told her how cute she was"  LOL.  She also had another bath and smells pretty :-)  Such a sweetheart!  Oh, and she gained another ounce.

Monday, May 22, 2006

photos of her room

Since I haven't posted any photos of the baby lately and I keep forgetting my camera, I figured I should post SOMETHING.  Tonight to keep my mind off things we worked in Meghan's room.  Scott put the crib back together mostly, a couple parts are in Brendan's room and he's sleeping so we'll have to wait to finish it, but we were able to put all the cute bedding on.  I wanted something pink and purple, and I had preferred flowers, but Mom and Scott found this and it is SOOOOOOO adorable.  I love butterflies too.  They got this set while I was in the hospital, on the day she was born in fact.  I was freaking out b/c we weren't at all ready for her to come, even though we knew she'd be in NICU for a while.  So mom and scott went shopping for me :-)

I also finished the wall mural.  My art teacher did the fence for me, and then I stamped the flowers and butterflies.  We can't get real even coverage b/c we have these stupid textured walls, but oh well.  It still turned out cute.

Pic 1:  A close up of her bedding and one of the butterflies to hang on the wall

2. her bed, minus the side we still need to put on.

3. her mobile

4. her quilt, which I will probably turn into a wall hanging b/c it is really heavy and warm

5. close up of the fence and flowers.

6. view of the whole wall.

I'm really happy with how it turned out!

rough day for Mommy

Normally when I call the nurse says Meghan is "perfect".  Today I called and they said she was "OK."  She hasn't been taking her feedings via bottle, and she had a short heartrate drop, which is normal for her age but she hasn't had one in days.  They also found out she is anemic, so they are giving her something to help her absorb more iron.  The good news about that is that maybe her sleepiness is caused by the anemia, and maybe the meds will help that and she will wake up and eat.  The bad news is that the med is a shot she has to have 3 times a week for 2 weeks, so she will definately be there a minimum of 2 more weeks :*-(  I know she's still really little and that this is totally normal, but it really makes me sad.  I was really hoping she would start eating and they'd say "She's perfect, send her home!"  because she's been doing everything else so far ahead of schedule.  Unrealistic I know, but I can't help it.  I keep trying to remind myself that she is where she needs to be, but in my heart I just want her home so bad it hurts.   I get weepy everytime I see someone with a new baby b/c I wish it was me with my new baby.  I'm weepy right now.

That combined with lack of sleep is not making for an easy day for me.  Brendan is sick, his cold or whatever it is has gotten worse.  He's been coughing up a storm.  We gave him meds before bed and that seems to be helping, but I'm going to call the doc in the morning and see if she can give him an RX for it.  Plus Scott's alergies are killing him and he's not feeling well.  I'm terrified that one of them might be contagious and that even though I'm not sick I could carry germs to Meghan.  I didn't go to NICU tonight b/c of that.  I did go for her noon feeding, she nuzzled for about 15 minutes and nursed for about 3.  We did get to get her dressed, which was so sweet.  She's holding her temp perfectly now, so they told us to go ahead and bring some of her clothes in.  We dressed her in the nurse's choice (I LOVE the nurse she had today, this is the 3rd time she's had her, and this nurse is awesome, very friendly and funny and takes great care of her.), a little pink sleeper with green frogs all over it and a matching hat.  The feet on the sleeper are frog faces.  Of course we forgot the digital camera at home.  I took one with a disposible I keep in my purse, but of course we have several pics left on that so it won't be developed for a while.  I plan to take the camera tomorrow. Anyway, the hat fits perfectly, the sleeper is still a little big even though it is a preemie size.  Not too huge though.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for all of us.  I hope my guys feel better!  I have to talk to her nurses too and see if it is OK for me to visit or if they want me to wait and make sure I'm not carrying some virus or something.

Sunday update

Yesterday (Sunday) she gained 2 whole ounces!!!  She's now 3 lbs 9 oz.  She's still not doing that great on feedings, I was there for her noon feeding and she nursed for about a minute and fell asleep.  I called to see how her other feedings went b/c I decided I wasn't going to come up for her 9 pm feeding if she was still sleepy, and her nurse said she hadn't taken a bottle for the rest of the day, so I stayed home to let her sleep.  I called before bed and the nurse said she had gotten her to take 10 cc's from a bottle, 1/3 of her feeding. 

I had asked the nurse yesterday "now, the feeding thing is her last major hurdle, right?" and the nurse said "yes, but they won't send her home before 36 weeks.  They just aren't mature enough at that age."  Which really bummed me out at first, that's still 4 weeks away.  However, I got thinking and remembered what her doc said when she was only a day old, he gave me an original estimate of 5-8 weeks.  5 weeks would be 34 weeks, and since she is doing Sooooooooo much better than they ever thought she would, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it is closer to that than 36 weeks.  I know I'm not supposed to be pushing her, and I promise I'm not.  When she falls asleep during nursing, I stop.  If she's showing signs of overstimulation, I put her back in  her isolette and let her rest.  But, I can't help but hope that if she can just learn to wake up for feedings, she'll come home soon.  I plan to talk to her doc about what the nurse said, see what the doc says.  I like her weekday doc a lot, she's AWESOME.  She is very into "try and see". 

Oh, they're going to be moving her out of the isolette soon, she's getting too warm in there.  They have it a little below room temp now I think, but because it is enclosed, she's just getting too toasty.  Which is good, it means she can hold her own temp with no problem.  They said we can bring clothes up for her too so she doesn't have to wear that gigantic white shirt, so I washed all her clothes last night (in dreft, and used dye free/scent free fabric softener so I don't have to worry that it will irritate her skin) and I'm going to bring up some of her preemie clothes today.  I'm going to write her name on the tags though so they don't get mixed in with other kids clothes.  Those suckers are expensive and I don't want to loose any of them!I'm hoping to get her dressed when we go there today and get some good photos of her for her birth announcements.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Super Preemie at it again!

I called this morning and they said that she was doing fine, and was up to 3 lbs 7 oz.  I got up there and looked at her and noticed she was wearing a shirt and the temp on her bed had changed--they are testing her to see if she can hold her own temp!!!  AND, when I went up there tonight, they were turning the temp on the bed wayyyyy down again b/c she was getting too warm and it was causing her heartrate to go too high, I think the temp is now set to the right temp to confirm that she can hold her own temp!!!  She looks so cute in her little t-shirt, it is a newborn size and it is GIGANTIC on her!  They had to roll the sleeves up sooooo much!  And she's getting a double chin, its adorable!  She has her brother's chubby cheeks too.  :-)

I tried to nurse her this afternoon, but she was too sleepy like she was yesterday.  Oh, did I mention that her Godmother, Debra got to hold her yesterday for the first time?  Can't remember if I did or not.  Anyway, so she was too sleepy at lunch time.  I came back up tonight with Mom and tried again, and Meghan actually NURSED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!  Yayyyyyyyy!!!!  She latched on for a good 10 minutes.  I told the nurse, but she said she would still go ahead with her feeding.  @@.  I don't think she believed me that Meghan actually nursed.  I could tell she got some b/c I was half empty. 

She has passed ALL the major hurdles except the feeding.  If she can just stay awake for feedings and get rid of the feeding tube, I think she can come home.  I can't wait to talk to her doc.  I love her docs, they are great.  The nurses are very cautious and are hesitant to believe how well she's doing sometimes, but her doc's philosophy is "let her try, if she can't do it then we'll know" like with nursing.  I was going to pump for half the time so she didnt' get too much, but her doc said go ahead and try.  She only coughed once, and I think it was because it was right at first and she might have gotten a little too much.  I sat her up for a second and rubbed her back and she was fine.  She never dribbled any, and her sats never dropped so she has the suck-swallow-breathe thing going.  She is doing FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My son had a runny nose yesterday (he was at my inlaws all day) then woke up several times crying last night, which is usually the indication that he;s sick.  So, off to the after hours doc today to make sure it wasn't contagious, which she said it might be.  Good news is that she said he would probably only be contagious the first couple days, which is yesterday and today, and he wasn't around me yesterday.  Bad news is that I had to stay away from him all day today so that I didn't get his germs and transfer them to Meghan.  So, I hung out with my mom all day while Scott had Brendan.  I felt bad that I had to stay away, plus that meant we got NOTHING done in Meghan's room.  ::::::::sigh::::::::


Friday, May 19, 2006

update on feedings

She did great on her first 2 feedings last night, took 10 cc's (1/3 of the feeding) from the bottle before she got too tired to finish and they put the rest thru the tube.  Not so good today, she's a lot sleepier.  The doc gave me the green light to nurse, she said some babies do much better with that than the bottle, and she said I didn't even need to pump before hand so we tried.  Meghan nursed for about a minute, but then fell asleep.  The doc did get to see her during that minute though and was very encouraged.  She thinks she'll be a great nurser.  I couldn't figure out why Meghan was so tired, but then I realized, she didn't get her morning "coffee" LOL.  They took her off the caffeine!  She's definately Grandma Theresa's girl, my mom is a coffeeahaulic LOL.  So, no idea if they're going to reconsider putting her back on or what, I'll call before bed and check on her.  I'm thrilled that they gave us the go-ahead for nursing though!  yayyyy Meghan!  Oh, and she is 3 lbs 5.6 oz as of last night, gaining a little over an ounce almost every day!  I finally found out that an ounce is 30 grams. 

Thursday, May 18, 2006

pleasant surprises!

I went up tonight for her 7:30 feeding.  She did well, only nuzzled for about 10 minutes or so, but was latched on for about 7 of those minutes!  then she fell asleep and I got to just snuggle with her for about an hour.  I ended up leaving earlier than I had planned b/c I felt a migrane coming on and decided to come home and get some sleep.

Great news though, they are starting the nipple protocol TONIGHT!!  They had said next week!  woooohoooo!!  She's getting her first ever bottle at 11.  I would have loved to be there for it, but they are closed.  We're going to call afterward though and see how she did.  They aren't going to let me nurse fully yet, but they may let me pump for half the normal amount of time right before and then try nursing.  They just don't want her to get too much milk at once and choke. 

They're also taking her off caffeine now!  Another thing that was going to happen next week.  She had her last dose at 1 pm today.  And they are having to lower the temp on her bed b/c she's getting too warm, if that happens too much they will try to lower it to room temp and just dress her (right now she just wears a diaper) and see how she does at keeping her body temp up.  If she does well at the bottle feedings and no apnea/heartrate drops (she hasn't had one in 3 days) and can keep herself warm, she can come home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So maybe only another week or so, but it all depends on the feeding.  The nurse said that's usually the last thing to happen.  Some babies take a while to get it, others do great right away.  ::::::::::fingers crossed:::::::::  that Meghan is in that second group.

Feeling guilty again

Having a hard time getting up to NICU.  Right now they said to try to do 1-2 feedings a day, she eats at 10:30, 1:30, 4:30 and 7:30 around the clock.  The 10:30 am one is hard to get to b/c of Brendan, I can usually make the 1:30 one, 4:30 is OK but then takes 2 hours to get home with rush hour traffic (NICU closes at 5:30 for shift change, otherwise I would stay until after traffic), 7:30 Pm I can do by myself but Scott can't come up b/c of Brendan and bedtime, and if I go up by myself I can stay until the 10:30 one but have to do it a little early b/c they close again at 10:30 for shift change stuff again.  I asked if nursing moms are allowed to stay for those but she said no b/c then everyone would want to stay.  Right now I guess it isn't as big a deal, but next week (or sooner maybe) they will start breastfeeding for real and they encourage moms to be there for as many feedings as possible.  I broke down this morning b/c I want to be there as much as possible but I just can't.  With Brendan it's hard getting him there or having to take him to the inlaws, and Scott needs to be able to still find some time to do his work.  I can go by myself, but then I feel bad that Scott doesn't get to see her.  He doesn't feel bad, he said it is more important for me to be there than him b/c of feedings, but I still feel bad.  Plus I don't want to just abandon my family and spend all my time up there and ignore Scott and Brendan, KWIM?  Sorry if I'm whining, just having a rough day.  I just wish she could come home soon!!

She's doing well though, she's 3 lbs 4 oz now!!  Still gaining well.  They all say she's such an easy baby, and she still hasn't had an apnea spell since the one several days ago.  YAYYYY!!!!!  I hope that she continues to do so well when they take her off the caffeine next week.  Maybe, just maybe, being wayyyyyy too optimistic here, she will nurse like a champ right away and they can take the feeding tube out, and she won't have any apnea spells and will demonstrate that she can stay warm and maybe she will be home in 2 weeks or less.  I know, I know, I'm being wayyyyyy optimistic here but I can't help but hope.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wednesday update

I think its Wednesday, isn't it?  I have no idea anymore.  LOL.  I'm trying to get lots of sleep, but between pumpings its hard to get enough.  I feel like I'm in a fog half the time, and no time for naps during the day between taking care of Brendan and going up to the hospital.  Oh well, hopefully it will only be another few weeks.

She's doing great, BTW.  Did another NNN session today, and she actually got latched on for about a full minute!!!  WTG Meghan!  :-)  They were calling her "Super Preemie" (the nurses were).  She's such a good baby!  They also said she never cries, she's a very content baby.  A stinky one though, they have no problem telling when its time for a new diaper LOL. 

Next week we'll start nursing/bottle feeding/  They said they take their cues from her, and when she starts getting too tired they stop the feeding and do the rest thru the gavage feeding tube.  SOmetimes she might only nurse/bottle feed for a few minutes, or she might do a whole feeding.  Then they said after she goes 24 hours without needing the gavage feeder (8 feedings) they remove the tube.  It might take several days or weeks, or it might be pretty quick, it all depends on her.  :::::::::fingers crossed::::::::: that it is quick.  She nuzzled for another 30 minutes today, kept rooting around everytime I thought she was tired and pulled away.  Such a wonderful baby!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

great session today!

Today I planned to be up at the NICU for her 10:30 am feeding and stay until after her 1:30 feeding so I could do 2 non-nutritive nuzzling sessions.  Well, I forgot that NICU was closed until 11 today, so I missed the first feeding.  She was asleep when I got in there, so the nurse said rather than wake her up, she would prefer to just wait and do it at 1.  I don't have a problem with that, Meghan needs her rest so she can grow quickly.  So, I watched her sleep for a while then went to get lunch (LOVE delaware subs, right next to the hospital.  MMmmmmm) and pump, then went back in.  she was awake when I got there, She always wakes up around feeding times.  So, the nurse helped me get her out and I started the nuzzling.  She did AWESOME!  Yesterday she only nuzzled for about 10 minutes each time, this time she did for 35 or 40 minutes!  Everytime I thought she was getting tired and pulled her away she would start rooting again.  She actually latched on 8 or 9 times too, for a few seconds each time.  The doctor came by while we were doing this, and was tickled pink!  she said we will start actually trying to nurse next week, and will probably also take her off the caffeine too.  Then it is a matter of when she gets the hang of feeding and can keep her body temp up (which they haven't tested yet, but she seems to be doing fine b/c when I hold her just wrapped in a blanket her temp goes up not down.) and no more apnea spells.  ::::::::::fingers crossed::::::::::::::  That she starts doing those things quickly.  I dont want to rush her, she needs to go at her own pace, but I want her to come home so badly!  I try not to think about it too much b/c then I get weepy, but I hate the fact that I don't get to take care of her.  I'm actually looking forward to geting up to nurse her in the middle of the night, rather than pumping.  And I KNOW Scott is looking forward to having her there so he can change her diaper rather than wash the pump LOL.  That's our arrangement, with Brendan I nursed then Scott changed him.  Since she's not home, he cleans the pump in the middle of the night LOL.  He's such a great guy!  He doesn't even complain about it anymore.  ;-)  I'm so lucky!  He also watched Brendan most of the day so I could spend time at NICU. 

Monday, May 15, 2006

more non-nutritive feeding/apnea spell

I went up to the hospital tonight by myself to do more non-nutritive feeding with Meghan.  She did even better than she did earlier, she sucked about once every 10-15 seconds and she actually latched on fully once or twice.  She only did that for about 10 minutes or less, then she got tired and fell asleep, but she still did fine.

She did scare me quite a bit though.  I was looking at her and she was all pink and pretty, sleeping, and then I looked up at the clock and was looking around at the other babies for a few seconds.  Her monitor started dinging and I looked up at it and saw her sats were in the 80's, then looked at her and she was a little bit blue.  The nurse came over and had to sit her up and rub her tummy and back to remind her to breathe.  Not sure if it was the position she was in (her chin was down maybe a bit too much) or if it was just she was too tired or what, and the nurse assured me that this was normal and that it is why she's on the caffeine, but it still freaked me out.  She snapped out of it really quick once the nurse started rubbing her back, but I really hope she doesnt' do that to me again. 

first try at nursing

Well, not quite nursing but non-nutritive feeding.  I pumped first, and she had just been fed, then they let her attempt it and see how she does.  She did much better than I thought!  She sucked for a few seconds about every 30 seconds.  I think she got a little milk one time and she coughed a little, her sats dropped a bit and I had to sit her up for a few seconds, but that's normal.  Thats why they have me pump first.  She did pretty good though, and it is good practice for next week when she gets to try nursing for real.  They want me to try to do this 2 times a day, so I'm going up there again tonight.  Getting up there that much might be a bit of a problem, but we will do our best.  Same with when I start nursing.  We may stay at his company's loft downtown more often once we start nursing, we'll see.  She also gained an ounce yesterday!  She's doing so well!!!

look alikes

While I was looking at Meghan's bath picture, I realized that it reminded me of the photos from Brendan's first bath, so I took out his baby book to compare, and the 2 kids are identical.  The only difference was that Brendan was obviously bigger.  Check it out!  The first pic is Meghan, the second is Brendan, and they are both 11 or 12 days old in these photos.  WOW.  They are going to look so much alike, which is fine for me b/c Brendan is awfully cute LOL.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother's day update

Today is Mother's day, and Meghan made me a card!  The nurses took her footprints and made a little card that said "I love you mommy" :-)  It was so sweet!

She has been gaining weight, 22 grams the night before last and 10 grams last night.  She's eating 29 cc's of food still each feeding.  I got to talk to her doc today and he said she's doing great!  I told him that she's been rooting around when she eats, if we're holding her, and she sucks her hand when she's hungry. She's also always wide awake when it gets close to feeding time.  He said that was a good sign and that she can start trying to do "non nurtrient feeding" where they will have me pump just before feeding and then attempt to have her latch on.  She won't really be eating anything, but it will help get her used to it so that soon she can start trying to nurse.  She has to be able to suck-swallow-and breathe at the same time, which they said usually starts clicking in around 34 weeks.  So, tomorrow we will start trying that!!  Yayyyy!!  I hope she catches on quickly.  I miss her and want her to come home! 

Friday, May 12, 2006

First Bath!

Today when we went up there her day nurse, Kim, agreed with us that our baby was a stinky baby.  She's almost 2 weeks old and had never had a bath b/c they don't want her to get too cold.  She was starting to smell like a foot LOL.  She said she could give her a bath, but that it was almost time for them to close for shift change and she didn't want us to miss her first bath, so she suggested that we come back later and have the night nurse do it.  So we did, and the night nurse said she could do it after her weigh in, but it would be after shift change.  I asked really nicely if she could please do it while we were there so we didn't miss it and so we could take photos, and daddy could kangaroo with her afterward to warm her back up.  She agreed, so we got to do that.  IT was the first time we've ever seen her without anything attatched, no leads, no wires, they even took the feeding tube out b/c it was starting to get gunky and she said she would switch sides for her.  She gave her a sponge bath, but a really good one, even washed her lips and ears and stuff so she was all clean and smelled good.  It was soooo cute!  Meghan didn't seem to mind too much, she only wimpered a few times.  She was wide awake thru the whole thing too, it was sweet.  Afterward she snuggled with daddy.  He kept trying to move her head up but she kept snuggling in and putting it back down again.  We finally just left her like that b/c her saturation levels were staying in the 98-100 range, which is perfect.  She also kept trying to root around and nurse on him, it was funny.  It's also a really good sign that she might be ready to nipple feed soon!  We will have to wait and see.

These are pics of her first bath :-)  Isn't she cute!?!?!  I love these pics b/c you actually get to see her, and not a bunch of wires and tubes.  Such a precious miracle!  Oh, they also weighed her and she gained 22 grams!!  yayyyy!!  She's up to one whole ounce (29 cc's approx) for feedings!  :-)

Friday morning (31 weeks)

Talked to her doc this morning.  She gained 11 grams last night, that's good.  Any gain is good.  They are going up on her feedings and the doc said they may consider adding more additives to her milk for calories so she gains a little more than that, but they're going to wait and see how she does on the increased feedings first. 

She had a couple short breathing problems last night, nothing too bad, but the nurse noticed her nose was congested and cleaned it out.  That helped a lot, no more breathing problems, but they are worried it might be a sign of infection.  The doc said that for now, other than that, she looks perfect so they are going to wait and see.  If it happens again they will test her for infection in hopes of catching it early, but she said it could just be a one time thing.  No idea. 

they will start trying to nipple feed her (via bottle) in about a week, once she's 32 weeks.  The doc said some babies "get it" right away, other take a few weeks to get the hang of suck-swallow-breathe.  So we'll just have to wait and see.

I got to hold her for a long time yesterday, they said that we had to kangaroo hold her if we were going to hold her b/c they didn't want her just bundled for that long (they stay warmer skin to skin).  Scott wasn't wearing a button down so he told me to hold her that time and he'd hold her today.  She had a few desaturations while I was holding her, and we figured it out with the help of the nurse--Meghan does not like to be rocked.  Once I stopped rocking she stopped having problems!  They had moved her to a different bay, and in the other bay the rocking chair creaked horribly so I never rocked her.  Yesterday I was in a regular rocking chair and apparently the rocking is too much stimulation for her.  The nurse suggested that so we tried not rocking and it worked.  Kinda funny :-) 

Not sure when we will get up there today, Brendan is still asleep (and I think it is like 10 am or so, but he woke up at 11 and didn't get back to sleep until midnight, so he's sleeping in) and Scott has to do some work, then we have to drop Brendan off at Scott's folks house.  My bro is coming over tonight though to sit here after we put Brendan to bed so we can spend a couple hours at NICU. 

Thursday, May 11, 2006

still "perfect" :-)

Talked to her nurse this morning, and she said "She's perfect" :-D  She had no breathing problems or anything last night, no need to put the IV fluids back in, still holding her feedings well (she spit up a little bit this morning but nothing to worry about) and she gained 3 grams.  Not a lot, but much better than loosing.  They moved her to a different bay, for staffing reasons.  Glad they told me, I would have wondered where my baby went LOL. 

I told Scott what the nurse said, and he said "oh, good, she can come home now!" LOL.  I said "hon, she still isn't eating on her own" and he said "oh, I can work the feeding tube!" then I reminded him that she isn't holding her own body temp yet, and he said "that's OK, I looked on eBay and you can buy incubators.  They're like $600.  They sell them for puppies."  @@ LOL.  He's a hoot.  :-D

We're going up this morning after we drop Brendan off.  I also have an appointment with my doc, my postpartum apt. 

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Great news!!!!!

Went up to NICU with mom and her co-worker Deborah tonight.  Deborah went in with me, and when I was looking at Meghan I noticed something--her nasal cannula was gone!!!  The nurse said they took it out at noon, and she's been BREATHING ON HER OWN since then!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAYYYY!!!!!!!!!  No saturation drops, no heartrate drops, she's doing FABULOUS!  I could have done a cartwheel I was so happy!

AND, even more great news, they disconneced the IV fluids again!!!  Her last couple glucose tests have been great!  She has another one tonight, then again in the morning, so hopefully they stay up and tomorrow they will remove the IV completely.  They took the line off but left the IV in just in case so they wouldn't have to poke her again.

AND, even MORE good news, all day she's been digesting her whole feedings!!!  She's getting 26 cc's each time and every time they check (just before the next feeding) there's only 1 cc or less left in her tummy! 

AND, I got to hold her :-)  I didn't Kangaroo with her, they just swaddled her since we weren't going to be there for over an hour.  I like holding her that way too though, because I can see her little face.  She looked at me, and I swear she smiled.  I know she can't really smile, she doesn't have control of that yet, but even Deborah saw her make the face, even if it was an accident.  SOOOOOOO cute!  She's going to look just like her brother, I know it.  Now that I can see her whole face, no tube, she has my nose and her daddy's mouth and chin, and chubby cheeks just like her brother.  No idea what color her eyes will be, right now they are still blue.  Brendan's eyes are a sapphire blue, I hope she has those pretty eyes too.  She's georgeous.  Absolutely beautiful.  ::::::::;sniff, sniff::::::::::  I'm one happy mommy!

The only bad news I had today was my favorite contestant on American Idol, Chris, got voted off.  :-(  LOL.

quick update Wednesday am

Talked to the nurse this morning, she lost another 25 grams but I guess they aren't worried yet.  Still on the IV glucose.  Last night her feedings weren't going so well, she had a lot of residual in her tummy, but this morning she didn't have hardly any so that's good. 

We;re taking the day off, not driving down there.  Scott has some serious work to do, he's been neglecting it a bit or trying to cram it all in at night, and since Brendan is with us we thought we'd relax a bit today.  I'm going up with my mom at 7:30 tonight though, and bringing milk for her.  I checked and they said that she should have enough milk to last until I get there.

I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty that we arent' going up there today.  Its crazy, I know.  Not that she even realizes if we don't come, plus I got to kangaroo with her for a long time yesterday.  But, still.  Oh well. 

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Tuesday update

OK, let me try to remember what all is going on:

First, she lost 15 grams last night.  They said they aren't worried at all though b/c she gained like 70 grams the night before, which they consider huge, so a little drop is normal.  She gets weighed again later tonight I will call and find out before we go to bed.

They removed all the IV fluids earlier but left in the IV just in case so they wouldn't have to poke her again.  Then her next glucose level came back low, so they had to start her back on some IV fluids, but only one this time and it is pretty much just sugar water from what the nurse said.  They might try to remove it tomorrow if she's doing well on her feedings.  Right now though, at least as of earlier this evening, she didnt' seem to be tolerating her feedings as well.  She's up to 26 cc's but the last couple feedings when they checked the contents of her tummy before feeding her, she still had like 9 cc's left which is a lot more than she usually had.  Plus she spit up once earlier.  The nurse said if it was the same for the next feeding or if she spit up again that she would try a pump for the feeding that feeds her more slowly, over 30 minutes rather than 5-10.  If that didn't work she said they may have to decrease the feedings :-(  If that happens, she may still be on the IV for a few days.

I got to hold her for a long time today, "kangaroo" style.  She snuggled right up to me and slept the whole time (I dozed too LOL).  Scott was watching her monitors while I held her and said that all her levels were perfect the whole time I held her, even better than they had been in the incubator.  I think she likes her mommy! 

We may take a day off tomorrow, and not go up to NICU during the day.  I am going up at night with my mom, at 7:30 pm, but since we have Brendan and Scott is wayyyy behind on work, we might not go during the day.  My only worry is I'm not sure she will  have enough milk, I need to call and find out.  I'm still only getting 30-35 cc's each time, and if she's eating 25 then she may go thru the milk I have up there before we get back.  If she does, they will use donor milk which I know is safe, but I prefer her to use mine.  I'm trying to drink more fluids and rest more (I got a nap in this evening while Scott picked Brendan up) but so far it is not working.  I'm also going to pump every 2 hours while I'm home, maybe that will help.  One nurse said that there is a med that the doc can give me to up the production, another nurse said she didn't think it was necessary but I would rather produce too much than not enough.  I can freeze the excess if need be.  I go to the doc on Thursday so I will ask him then.

Monday, May 8, 2006

We went up to see her last night, it was a nice quiet way to spend an hour.  I let Scott hold her so that he gets plenty of time with her too, and I sat next to them.  Got a couple pics of her and daddy too :-)  We were also there for her weigh-in, and she is over 3 lbs now!!  She's 3 lbs, 1.1 oz.  They said she's doing great with her feedings and they added the powder supplement and she tolerated that just fine so they are pleased with that.  The IV should come out tonight or tomorrow. 

I talked to her doc today, and she said that the nasal cannula is going to probably be in for a while yet.  She is still having a few short apnea spells, actually I don't think they even consider them real apnea b/c they don't last long enough and are self-corrected, but it is enough that they aren't willing to take out the tube just yet.  I asked her how long these breathing spells will last, and she said most babies stop them by 36 weeks.  Scott was really disapointed with that, I could tell, because he was really hoping she would be home much sooner.  But we will take it one day at a time.  Her other doc, the weekend one, said that they might start lowering the flow a little late this week and see how she tolerates that, but we'll see.  It's going to be a looooonnnngggg road, but it will be worth it in the end.

I'm getting to the point where I'm really stressed out though.  I had a real rough time after we got home last night.  I'm so worried that I'm not doing what's right for Brendan, that I'm dragging him all over the place too much and not providing enough normalcy for him, plus I know I'm not taking good enough care of myself.  My mom got on my case about it last night, in a good way, and reminded me that it has only been a week since I had major surgery and that I am sleep deprived and need to take care of myself.  I'm also worried b/c my milk supply seems to be dwindling, I'm not getting as much as I used to.  I'm still getting more than she's eating, but not much and as she eats more she's going to need more than I'm producing right now.  I'm trying to keep myself hydrated but its hard to do when I'm running all over the place and eating at fast food places that just have pop.  I need to keep an eye on my stress level and on my mood, I had a bit of post-partum depression with Brendan (did not last long, not very severe or anything) and am worried that I'm heading there again this time.  I have an appointment with my doc on Thursday, so I will talk to him about it then.

Oh, these pics are the ones from last night, one of them you can see her official weigh in and there's one of her and daddy.  :-) the one photo of her with her weight was a bit graphic, so Scott put a little cover up on her and the text says "I'm a girl"  LOL.